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June 24, 2004

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Janelle

I miss my children. They have all grown up.

I've been divorced a couple of times and I am so imperfect.

My life was grand when I was a young girl like your daughter. I played piano and got standing ovations and my last recital I played, Ebb Tide.

An older man that sang a song that is still played today took away my innocence and youth. I had to let go of a baby and prayed someday I would see him again.

In God's timing I did. I just kept falling and went in and out of a marriage I thought was right but it started out wrong.

I miss Donald Sensing and he knows my son Dean Esmay that runs a blog and Sensing has given him things to ponder on.

I love God, I love baseball, I love music and I write it too.

I attend Max Lucado's church when I can. He is just about the number one writer in the christian world as well as, the NY Times Lists.

I am not well and am fighting for my rights as a woman that worked throughout her life and am now on a small disability fighting with the Texas Rehab. I have paid my taxes since I was 12. My parents signed a paper so I could work in the summers.

I wrote a sonnet that went all around the world called, "A Teddy Bear and A Rose". The true story of how when I relinquished my son to adoption, God answered my prayer 20 years later.

I brought my son a Teddy Bear I was never able to give him and he brought me a single Red Rose.

My youngest son went into the Border Patrol and after 9-11, he went and tested and is now serving in Homeland Security as a criminal undercover agent with Immigration.

My daughter works for the State of Washington.

None of my children can be with me and I can not put stress on them especially Dean, the one with the blog. He is trying to make ends meet and I get inspired at times when I am there and pray he will come back to Jesus.

Your family sounds like what I did have at one time.

Thank you for the wonderful work you do and maybe someday when I can I will send you a copy of my song. I felt so bad when I heard Ronald Regans son talk about his life as an adopted son that felt he was a bastard. There is no such thing. My son was not. Michael Reagan wrote a book called, "Twice Adopted".

I know his pain. I started two search and support groups here Texas, one in San Antonio and one in El Paso. I know that a child born to a birthmother is loved as in the story of Moses.

God Bless You and thank you for making a lonely Mom feel better.

Mary Janelle (excuse any wrong spellings as I am in ppain a lot with Rhum.Arth/Lupus and feel lonely.

What a most beautiful blog.

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